I’ve been a fan for thirteen years, five studio albums, one Christmas album, two live albums…well you get the point. But it wasn’t until September 14th that I would see them perform in person. Was I excited? Ha! Understatement of the year.

There were two opening acts: You Hang Up and Rocket to the Moon. You Hang Up need a bit more *umph* I feel, but they haven’t been together long so I’m sure they’ll fix that soon enough. Also, the bassist has this “why am I here look” on his face which is a little off putting. Rocket to the Moon was interesting, and I don’t mean that in a bad way in the least. Looking at their videos on Youtube I expected a very scenester/emo/hipster/lookatmelookatme kind of band. The lead singer, however, has gotten a haircut and although his jeans showed off just how much he doesn’t seem to eat, it was surprisingly fairly typical melodic rock. However at this point I was just ready for Hanson to come on the stage.

Taylor Hanson at Mesa Arts Center

Hanson came on about nine and the show lasted a good two hours. When they first came out onto the stage there was a brief moment where my inner thirteen year old went “oh my god I’m seeing Hanson” but she quickly went back to the ethers. To be honest I am still surprised at how non-strange it was to see them in person for the first time after so many years. I suppose all those live DVDs helped make the transition easy. What wasn’t easy was learning how to let go and just enjoy the experience. Not that long into the show the band went into “If Only” and Taylor demanded everyone jump. I was in the fourth row which meant I was in danger of getting singled out for not joining the jumping so at one point I did so (after noticing another fan get pointed at and realizing, yes, they can see you).

Oh yes, did I not mention my seat? The diagram on the venue’s site made it seem a bit of a distance and up on a ledge. Isaac could have thrown his pick at me with accuracy. I lucked out better than I realized when I had bought the tickets. Others in my row had the same surprise.

Anyway! By the end of the show I had learned to just forget about whoever was around me and just sing along and clap when Taylor demanded and just have fun. Which isn’t hard when they seemed to be playing most of my favorite songs! When Isaac started strumming the cords for “Hand In Hand” I about died inside and decided then and there that is my all time favorite Hanson song EVER. I had been hoping against hope they would play that and they did. Happiness. There were no covers unless you want to count the Jackson 5 instrumental they did when introducing the band in the middle of the set. Which was also awesome as Taylor tried to do a few steps. Taylor is very animated if you cannot tell.

Ah, Taylor. During the acoustic set Taylor seemed to have some sort of brain fart on the lyrics. The crowd seemed confused, unsure if this was another one of his attempts to have us sing the words for him, but by the smile on Isaac’s face Taylor’s silence wasn’t planned. The guys have great banter and now I sound like a fangirl, but if I am to convince Kate to go see them live I must try and recall it all! At one point Zac mocked all the “I love you” shouts being directed towards them, comparing it to some sort of competition between the shouters. Taylor then offered to sell Zac for $5000 (he later dropped the price to a cool four grand); he also announced he has been to all the Hanson shows. Zac chimed in he had been to most, and gave a look that said “my brother is stupid but I love him”. Isaac had his own rambling moment at the end of which he acknowledge he had lost whatever original point he had had.

They just come across as a very down to earth group of guys who love what they do. Taylor, is well, Taylor and jumping up and down and seems high on life, Zac is on danger of breaking into a drum solo at any given moment, and Isaac during one song–I want to say “Give A Little”–was rocking out so hard his gelled hair came unglued.

All in all I left convinced that I couldn’t let this be my last show. Next tour I’m hoping to catch them more than once which will probably entail a California road trip. Heck, at one point in the show it seemed like a very reasonable expenditure to fly to New England and join Kate at a show. Although I admit I was mostly motivated by the knowledge that they would be hitting the east coast before the west and I am impatient. But I’m sure I’d enjoy Kate’s company too!

And yes there were male fans! One such fan pointed out that he was the one who wanted to come the concert not his girlfriend.

So now the set list while my memory is fresh:

Waiting For This (Melody)
Make It Out Alive
If Only
And I Waited
Where’s The Love
Runaway Run
Hey
Carry You There
Kiss Me When You Come Home
Penny And Me
A Song To Sing
Been There Before
Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’
Voice In The Chorus
Hand In Hand
This Time Around
A Minute Without You
MMMBop
Give A Little
Lost Without Each Other
Crazy Beautiful (Encore)

Paris and Janet

I’m not much of a praying kind of gal, but I pray the courts leave those kids where they are right now. Watching that scene unfold I could only think of how horrible it would be to tear them away from all that love just after losing their father. If Debbie Rowe has any heart, even one iota of concern over these children she will let them be with their family. Her actions and even her own words speak against any real connection with them. She has made it rather easy to assume her primary motivation for seeking custody would be money.

I’ve heard comments that the kids need to be taken from the Jackson and put with a “normal white family” which of course just makes me sick. Chances are that normal white family would just hire a black nanny anyway, so I say cut out the middle man and just let them be! ;P

I hope Rowe keeps doing what she has done for the last decade and stay away from the Jacksons.

King of Pop

A part of the the rather excessive news coverage I found poignant was this exchange:

REV. AL SHARPTON: I think that Michael Jackson grew up on stage. He loved the stage. He loved the — and I think that my last conversations over the last couple of years, he was hurt by a lot of people. Debra is right, that he trusted a lot of big names, that he went out for and stood up for that he felt didn’t stand for him….But I think a lot of people that you will hear saying a lot of great things over the next couple days, they broke Michael Jackson’s heart way before it gave away today.

ANDERSON COOPER: Yes, I know. I’m having that thought, seeing all these people putting out statements. Wonder…

SHARPTON: Where were you yesterday?

DEBRA OPRI: Where were you yesterday? Well put.

MJJ back in the 80s

The most obvious sign of his inner demons was his plastic surgery fixation. Now, his appearance has always been a strange thing for me, and not in the way you are probably thinking. I was born in 1984 so the Michael Jackson of the Bad ear was Michael Jackson for me. Since I was a child I just accepted what he looked like and that he had appeared different in the sixties and seventies. Such is the beauty of childhood. Eventually I grew up and began to recognize that he wasn’t normal looking, perhaps aided by the fact that he continued to edit his face. There was a TV program that showed what he would have looked like had he never had any surgery. I was disturbed; that was not Michael Jackson. So, even though as an adult I can see that what he was doing to himself was horrifying, my inner child still accepts his “freaky” nature. Although I have seen a much better “projection” since then, but still….it’s not Michael. :\

Age progression

His relationship with children, both the boys he had inappropriate relationships with and his own offspring, is a chapter of his life I don’t even know how to process. I sickly hope that now maybe some light can be shed on his kids and what their lives have been like. I hope they can have some normal upbringing now, but that depends on who gets custody. In my dream world I’d want it to be Tito, Marlon, Rebbie or Janet. I’ve never really believed he molested anybody, because I cannot imagine as a parent taking money from someone I honestly believed touched my child. (I think his giving money was a stupid move and someone should have been there to say “no way in hell”.) I’m not saying I would have left my kid alone with MJ at night, but I wouldn’t live my kid alone at night with any strange man, period, no matter how rich he was; and considering Michael’s debt I’m not really sure how “rich” you could call him.

I have always felt, and always will, that he had a heart of gold and wanted nothing more than to be loved. He never had a childhood, never learned what a healthy relationship was, never had a real circle of friends. Even while thinking he was acting foolishly or was just being plain weird, I still thought what he really needed was plain help. Someone (a professional) to sit him down and help him confront his issues. He never got that. Instead he got “doctors” who peddled pain meds to him and “friends” who turned a blind eye to his self-destructive nature, family who were both bitter about his success and yet wanted to live off of it.

R.I.P

In related news, I hope Sony finally releases a US version of the Moonwalker DVD. I used to watch the VHS all the time and no way in hell am I paying $400 for a bootleg. I don’t have too many issues with the various companies putting out stuff to monetize his death, because I’m hoping that money will go to his kids.

I’ll give Niklas some links he can read over if he wants.
Punctuating Dialogue
Writing Dialogue
Writing Dialogue..Again
Writing Good Dialogue
And More Writing Dialogue
Dialogue Tips…ooh fancy
Incomplete sentences (he makes mention of dialogue here too)

Ok so maybe there is a bit of theme with all those links. However, it is a dialogue heavy story, so there you go. I’ll probably come up with a different set of links during the next round of editing.

As for me, I’m wondering if I should try writing short stories. I don’t really like having people read a WIP, because what’s the point unless you have enough written to make your intent clear? But even then, I don’t know. I’m thinking of just turning in screenshots or something. I’m not really after feedback, after all, mostly just trying to get in the habit again. Actually that’s all I’m trying to do. And maybe do some character fleshing out, which is essentially brainstorming, and who wants people reading their brainstorms? Feels weird. Short stories are a pain in the ass to write, though, that’s the only thing.

It’s not that I’m opposed to feedback, just that I know how I am. During my college workshops I would rarely-in fact I can’t really remember ever doing it-read the line-by-line comments on a piece of work. Well, except poetry but that goes without saying. I also hated writing poetry, by the way. What I would read were the summaries of people’s critiques/suggestions. But such a thing would require a more complete submission. Also, I discarded most of those suggestions and only paid any real heed to about 25% of them. Some of that was because some people didn’t really have much to say (you were graded on whether or not you turned in critiques, so you had to do it), others just plain lacked reading comprehension, and some I just didn’t agree with. Likewise, it is easier to see where you really need to work if you have a lot of reviews: if a large majority had issues understanding a certain plot point, then you need to work on that. If pretty much everyone got it except two, well, maybe those two are special. So yes, I like feedback, but I’ve grown used to it being a little more, um, structured.

Checklist
I should in fact follow those guidelines with Niklas, and I will, but not on an 18k word submission! I actually have some critiques from school saved-ones given to me, not that I wrote-and I guess I could scan those and show.

And I have now scanned one (I don’t think anyone wants to see everything I’ve saved ):

So, where was I going with this, oh yeah, well that’s the kind of feedback I would read. I didn’t bother with looking back through their copy of my story to see any comments, I would only look at the overall impressions and the problems they felt were major enough to mention. And this is the kind of thing Niklas can expect if he decides to give me something more manageable to read. But, again, the problem is that example is based on a finished short story, not a WIP novel. :\ I guess I feel a bit like a fish out of water.

Oh god, in going down memory lane I forgot what I really wanted to mention! I have found this artist-Ludovico Einaudi-whose music does wonders for me while I am writing. It’s always hard for me to find music that can both inspire me, but also not distract me in the process. His album Divenire does that for me.

In other news, last night I had a dream with a talking horse that lived in a closet and bossed me around. And then the horse was sent away and replaced with a chimp which scared me shitless. I also had a dream with Hanson, fainting fangirls, my dead grandmother, and a savage cat. Seriously. No more late night snacks before bed.

1. Breaktown
2. Let You Go
3. My Own Sweet Time
4. Never Love Again
5. One More Time
6. Someone
7. Someone (w/o Emma)
8. Wastin’ Time
9. Make It Alright
10. You Don’t Know Me
11. If You Love Me (Say I Do)
12. Live For Me
13. It’s Alright It’s Okay
14. Glimmering Girl
15. Half As Bad As You Are
16. Leave It At That
17. One Way Ticket
18. Make Believe
19. Wondering Why
20. Love (aka Sun and Sky)
21. She’s Got Time
22. We All Know

In case you’re not a Fanson, those are leaked Hanson songs I own.

Now for the promised Sims post. Let’s see…I guess I’ll deal with my Gamecube Sims Bustin’ Out. Well you see, I made the Sim Moiraine. Moiraine hooked up with Dudley, and then by accident Dudley’s sister Mimi. This was all before leaving her mother’s. When she moved in with the Goths she made kissy with Bella, and eventually Bella’s husband. Hmm, I think she then moved in with Arty and his wife. Her and Arty did become a couple. Oh and somewhere in there she got with Morgase. Oh wait! First before Arty(or is it Marty?) there was Bing. Keep in mind she’s not dumping pervious lovers; she’s starting a collection. Ok, then there was that guy with the rainbow afro. Then there was Herbert I believe is his name. She also got with a nudist. I think that’s it. She eventually married Morgase and tried to have a baby but never made it. When she got married all her other lovers ended up being downgraded to friends, mostly because Moiraine didn’t have the energy to be married AND a pimp.

In my PS2 world, I had Thom/Moiraine and Lan/Nynaeve. Thom and Nynaeve had an affair, Lan/Moiraine found out. It was hard not to when they kissed in front of them. Lan slapped Thom, Thom left the scene angry. Moiraine slapped Nynaeve too I’m sure, but she did forgive her. I have a Melaidhrin family that has Rand as the stay at home dad who lives in his PJs and makes gnomes, and Cadsuane who goes to work everyday working for the government. They have two daughters named Moiraine and Nynaeve. I need to get more creative. Anyway, The other family is the Sanches with Siuan and Mat as the poor mother and father of Lan and Thom. By poor I mean they have no carpert or paint or inside doors. The Melaidhrins have a house full of junk thanks to a money cheat.

That’s it for my Sim world. If I told you anymore you’d think I was twisted. What, with trying to kill off a couple…

I wonder how long I’ll be a Hanson fan? I can’t see myself stopping, and yet, if their next album is on par with Underneath…. This Time Around was a damn good album. Even, what, five years later I still enjoy it. I listen more to the various membership CDs more than their last album. They’re releasing yet another live CD, which I know I’ll end up buying. I don’t want another version of “Mmmbop” or “Penny & Me”, but I can’t not buy it (double negitive!). I’ll probably also rejoin the fanclub for a fourth year in a row. I suppose if I was that unhappy with Hanson I could have my voice heard with my wallet, and yet, I keep hoping they’ll come out of their slump and remind me why I love them.

That’s from Shirley’s diary. God I love this band.