Paris and Janet

I’m not much of a praying kind of gal, but I pray the courts leave those kids where they are right now. Watching that scene unfold I could only think of how horrible it would be to tear them away from all that love just after losing their father. If Debbie Rowe has any heart, even one iota of concern over these children she will let them be with their family. Her actions and even her own words speak against any real connection with them. She has made it rather easy to assume her primary motivation for seeking custody would be money.

I’ve heard comments that the kids need to be taken from the Jackson and put with a “normal white family” which of course just makes me sick. Chances are that normal white family would just hire a black nanny anyway, so I say cut out the middle man and just let them be! ;P

I hope Rowe keeps doing what she has done for the last decade and stay away from the Jacksons.

King of Pop

A part of the the rather excessive news coverage I found poignant was this exchange:

REV. AL SHARPTON: I think that Michael Jackson grew up on stage. He loved the stage. He loved the — and I think that my last conversations over the last couple of years, he was hurt by a lot of people. Debra is right, that he trusted a lot of big names, that he went out for and stood up for that he felt didn’t stand for him….But I think a lot of people that you will hear saying a lot of great things over the next couple days, they broke Michael Jackson’s heart way before it gave away today.

ANDERSON COOPER: Yes, I know. I’m having that thought, seeing all these people putting out statements. Wonder…

SHARPTON: Where were you yesterday?

DEBRA OPRI: Where were you yesterday? Well put.

MJJ back in the 80s

The most obvious sign of his inner demons was his plastic surgery fixation. Now, his appearance has always been a strange thing for me, and not in the way you are probably thinking. I was born in 1984 so the Michael Jackson of the Bad ear was Michael Jackson for me. Since I was a child I just accepted what he looked like and that he had appeared different in the sixties and seventies. Such is the beauty of childhood. Eventually I grew up and began to recognize that he wasn’t normal looking, perhaps aided by the fact that he continued to edit his face. There was a TV program that showed what he would have looked like had he never had any surgery. I was disturbed; that was not Michael Jackson. So, even though as an adult I can see that what he was doing to himself was horrifying, my inner child still accepts his “freaky” nature. Although I have seen a much better “projection” since then, but still….it’s not Michael. :\

Age progression

His relationship with children, both the boys he had inappropriate relationships with and his own offspring, is a chapter of his life I don’t even know how to process. I sickly hope that now maybe some light can be shed on his kids and what their lives have been like. I hope they can have some normal upbringing now, but that depends on who gets custody. In my dream world I’d want it to be Tito, Marlon, Rebbie or Janet. I’ve never really believed he molested anybody, because I cannot imagine as a parent taking money from someone I honestly believed touched my child. (I think his giving money was a stupid move and someone should have been there to say “no way in hell”.) I’m not saying I would have left my kid alone with MJ at night, but I wouldn’t live my kid alone at night with any strange man, period, no matter how rich he was; and considering Michael’s debt I’m not really sure how “rich” you could call him.

I have always felt, and always will, that he had a heart of gold and wanted nothing more than to be loved. He never had a childhood, never learned what a healthy relationship was, never had a real circle of friends. Even while thinking he was acting foolishly or was just being plain weird, I still thought what he really needed was plain help. Someone (a professional) to sit him down and help him confront his issues. He never got that. Instead he got “doctors” who peddled pain meds to him and “friends” who turned a blind eye to his self-destructive nature, family who were both bitter about his success and yet wanted to live off of it.

R.I.P

In related news, I hope Sony finally releases a US version of the Moonwalker DVD. I used to watch the VHS all the time and no way in hell am I paying $400 for a bootleg. I don’t have too many issues with the various companies putting out stuff to monetize his death, because I’m hoping that money will go to his kids.

I’ll give Niklas some links he can read over if he wants.
Punctuating Dialogue
Writing Dialogue
Writing Dialogue..Again
Writing Good Dialogue
And More Writing Dialogue
Dialogue Tips…ooh fancy
Incomplete sentences (he makes mention of dialogue here too)

Ok so maybe there is a bit of theme with all those links. However, it is a dialogue heavy story, so there you go. I’ll probably come up with a different set of links during the next round of editing.

As for me, I’m wondering if I should try writing short stories. I don’t really like having people read a WIP, because what’s the point unless you have enough written to make your intent clear? But even then, I don’t know. I’m thinking of just turning in screenshots or something. I’m not really after feedback, after all, mostly just trying to get in the habit again. Actually that’s all I’m trying to do. And maybe do some character fleshing out, which is essentially brainstorming, and who wants people reading their brainstorms? Feels weird. Short stories are a pain in the ass to write, though, that’s the only thing.

It’s not that I’m opposed to feedback, just that I know how I am. During my college workshops I would rarely-in fact I can’t really remember ever doing it-read the line-by-line comments on a piece of work. Well, except poetry but that goes without saying. I also hated writing poetry, by the way. What I would read were the summaries of people’s critiques/suggestions. But such a thing would require a more complete submission. Also, I discarded most of those suggestions and only paid any real heed to about 25% of them. Some of that was because some people didn’t really have much to say (you were graded on whether or not you turned in critiques, so you had to do it), others just plain lacked reading comprehension, and some I just didn’t agree with. Likewise, it is easier to see where you really need to work if you have a lot of reviews: if a large majority had issues understanding a certain plot point, then you need to work on that. If pretty much everyone got it except two, well, maybe those two are special. So yes, I like feedback, but I’ve grown used to it being a little more, um, structured.

Checklist
I should in fact follow those guidelines with Niklas, and I will, but not on an 18k word submission! I actually have some critiques from school saved-ones given to me, not that I wrote-and I guess I could scan those and show.

And I have now scanned one (I don’t think anyone wants to see everything I’ve saved ):

So, where was I going with this, oh yeah, well that’s the kind of feedback I would read. I didn’t bother with looking back through their copy of my story to see any comments, I would only look at the overall impressions and the problems they felt were major enough to mention. And this is the kind of thing Niklas can expect if he decides to give me something more manageable to read. But, again, the problem is that example is based on a finished short story, not a WIP novel. :\ I guess I feel a bit like a fish out of water.

Oh god, in going down memory lane I forgot what I really wanted to mention! I have found this artist-Ludovico Einaudi-whose music does wonders for me while I am writing. It’s always hard for me to find music that can both inspire me, but also not distract me in the process. His album Divenire does that for me.

I am a college grad. Whee!
I arrange my CDs in alphabetical order.
I can read a book in one day.
I can’t seem to finish Mists of Avalon, however.
I collect a whole bunch of shit that I really shouldn’t.
I continue to be a smart-ass.
I could probably get over my fear of driving if I really, really, tried.
I count myself lucky.
I don’t like how weak the dollar is.
I doubt I’ll ever want to leave America.
I dream often and don’t usually remember or care to.
I drink lots and lots of milk.
I fear bugs of all kinds.
I feel frustrated.
I grok someone. Not telling!
I hate Hanson haters. That’s so 1998.
I have little patience for Americans bashing America anymore. Seriously, if you hate it that much, fucking leave. If you find reasons to stay, clearly you don’t hate it that much, huh? /rant
I haven’t played my PS2 in months. It’s so dusty.
I hear there are people born and bred in the West who prefer crystals, powders, etc, to actual doctors with degrees. What?! Seriously?! Leave the New Age shit for spiritual growth, not things professionals should be dealing with. Have a broken leg? See a doctor. Have a broken mind/family/insert issue here? See a psychiatrist.
I hide my dolls from sunlight.
I like purple.
I listen to lots of music over a lot of genres.
I long for a blond sex slave.
I love when a web design comes together.
I might be an arrogant snobby bitch. And not care.
I misuse grammar in general.
I need a job that won’t kill me.
I plan to get another degree. Someday.
I prefer soul food to Mexican. Unfortunately, I live in Arizona.
I see less than I used to. Stupid glasses.
I should cut back on lots of things.
I sleep for five hours straight and then wake up, only to fall back to sleep pissed at waking up so damn early.
I smell like laundry detergent.
I take no vitamins and that ain’t changing any time soon.
I taste nothing at all.
I think I’ve changed my mind on housewives; there’s nothing wrong with staying at home.
I use two strips of Extra gum instead of one.
I want to be a mom.
I watch more Law and Order than is holy.
I will rub my newer episodes of SVU in Jan’s face.
I wish my friend Cheyenne lived in AZ again.
I would write far more vile things if I didn’t dislike fighting.
I write for me, not others.

In other news, last night I had a dream with a talking horse that lived in a closet and bossed me around. And then the horse was sent away and replaced with a chimp which scared me shitless. I also had a dream with Hanson, fainting fangirls, my dead grandmother, and a savage cat. Seriously. No more late night snacks before bed.

1. Breaktown
2. Let You Go
3. My Own Sweet Time
4. Never Love Again
5. One More Time
6. Someone
7. Someone (w/o Emma)
8. Wastin’ Time
9. Make It Alright
10. You Don’t Know Me
11. If You Love Me (Say I Do)
12. Live For Me
13. It’s Alright It’s Okay
14. Glimmering Girl
15. Half As Bad As You Are
16. Leave It At That
17. One Way Ticket
18. Make Believe
19. Wondering Why
20. Love (aka Sun and Sky)
21. She’s Got Time
22. We All Know

In case you’re not a Fanson, those are leaked Hanson songs I own.

Now for the promised Sims post. Let’s see…I guess I’ll deal with my Gamecube Sims Bustin’ Out. Well you see, I made the Sim Moiraine. Moiraine hooked up with Dudley, and then by accident Dudley’s sister Mimi. This was all before leaving her mother’s. When she moved in with the Goths she made kissy with Bella, and eventually Bella’s husband. Hmm, I think she then moved in with Arty and his wife. Her and Arty did become a couple. Oh and somewhere in there she got with Morgase. Oh wait! First before Arty(or is it Marty?) there was Bing. Keep in mind she’s not dumping pervious lovers; she’s starting a collection. Ok, then there was that guy with the rainbow afro. Then there was Herbert I believe is his name. She also got with a nudist. I think that’s it. She eventually married Morgase and tried to have a baby but never made it. When she got married all her other lovers ended up being downgraded to friends, mostly because Moiraine didn’t have the energy to be married AND a pimp.

In my PS2 world, I had Thom/Moiraine and Lan/Nynaeve. Thom and Nynaeve had an affair, Lan/Moiraine found out. It was hard not to when they kissed in front of them. Lan slapped Thom, Thom left the scene angry. Moiraine slapped Nynaeve too I’m sure, but she did forgive her. I have a Melaidhrin family that has Rand as the stay at home dad who lives in his PJs and makes gnomes, and Cadsuane who goes to work everyday working for the government. They have two daughters named Moiraine and Nynaeve. I need to get more creative. Anyway, The other family is the Sanches with Siuan and Mat as the poor mother and father of Lan and Thom. By poor I mean they have no carpert or paint or inside doors. The Melaidhrins have a house full of junk thanks to a money cheat.

That’s it for my Sim world. If I told you anymore you’d think I was twisted. What, with trying to kill off a couple…

My mom came down today from Phoenix and bought me a mirror, noodles, wafers, and AS #9. I think next weeked my dad is coming down, or maybe the one after that. Aw crap, that reminds me: I need to buy textbooks tomorrow.

*sighs* I need to write my Uncle David and Grandpa Earl, and beg for money. Not fun. But it needs to get done so why not just get it over with? Grandma says I should just flat out ask Uncle David for $300 and Grandpa for $150-200. I’m not good at begging, and indeed, hate the practice of it.

I wonder how long I’ll be a Hanson fan? I can’t see myself stopping, and yet, if their next album is on par with Underneath…. This Time Around was a damn good album. Even, what, five years later I still enjoy it. I listen more to the various membership CDs more than their last album. They’re releasing yet another live CD, which I know I’ll end up buying. I don’t want another version of “Mmmbop” or “Penny & Me”, but I can’t not buy it (double negitive!). I’ll probably also rejoin the fanclub for a fourth year in a row. I suppose if I was that unhappy with Hanson I could have my voice heard with my wallet, and yet, I keep hoping they’ll come out of their slump and remind me why I love them.