But Why Dolls?

Occasionally I will wonder what in the world led me down the path of BJD collector. I am starting to suspect Caraline’s purchase might have been driven by unexpressed grief and a need for comfort of some sort.

The reason I think this is due to two factors: 1) Caraline was purchased in December of 2006, which would be my first Christmas since my grandmother’s passing and 2) Due to inheritance from said passing I was able to justify Caraline’s price.

Of course the acquisition of the other five dolls can be explained by my collector’s gene. 😛 If I had the funds I’d probably end up with more than one DSLR. As Niklas says, I’m like a magpie: always attracted to the shiny.

The doll hobby is a way of escape for me. I don’t want to think about what I have lost and even now as I’m typing about it I’m trying not to think too hard. I get so sad and bitter when I think about her death; when I see others with their grandmothers I get angry and jealous because it isn’t fair. I know, I know, life’s not fair, but since when are emotions logical? At some point my avoidance might cause me to crack like an egg.

I’m on the verge of tears (and god knows I hate crying) so I’ll probably just end this entry here and go do what I do best and lurk on DoA. 🙂

Hug your grandmas.

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7 Comments

  1. It’s alright to cry in alternative ways, like cutting onions, or getting dust in your eyes. Or you could have a leaky nasolacrimal duct, or some medical issue. Oh! And you could blame irritating lenses or having put on too much lens fluid. Or you could have poked yourself when doing eyeliners.

    But going all “No, I’m not crying…I’m just spending all my money on BJD’s XD” is a pretty expensive and inefficient way to do it. It is more fancy though. And you do get to keep the doll.

    *pets magpie-birdie*

    1. 😛 I’m not saying whenever I spend money on a new doll or doll thing it is because of Grandma; just that the reason I got the first one might have something to do with her death. I mean it was her money that helped buy Caraline.

    2. Yes, it was a post about why Marie bought Caraline, not about all BJDs.

      *hugs* to Marie and Niks too so that you do not feel lonely.

      There is another reason why I wanted to get involved in the bjd hobby that I did not mention in my post. I liked being in the hobby with someone so that we could talk about bjds and things on den of angels + demons + resinality. It is much more fun this way. 🙂

      1. I know we have been saying this for getting close to three years but, we need more doll friends! 😉 It’s hard to socialize on DoA (so fluffy) or DoD (too snarky for its own good sometimes) and Resinality is dead in the water it feels like.

        Or maybe we are just too lazy….no, never that! 😛

        1. I admit to laziness! 😛

          But it’s also true about DoA and DoD. And I haven’t been to Resinality in a while so that may be.

          I’m not a frequent poster. So making friends on the forums would take a long time anyway.

          Maybe you can tell me how going to meets is after you go. 😀

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