Occasionally I will wonder what in the world led me down the path of BJD collector. I am starting to suspect Caraline’s purchase might have been driven by unexpressed grief and a need for comfort of some sort.
The reason I think this is due to two factors: 1) Caraline was purchased in December of 2006, which would be my first Christmas since my grandmother’s passing and 2) Due to inheritance from said passing I was able to justify Caraline’s price.
Of course the acquisition of the other five dolls can be explained by my collector’s gene. 😛 If I had the funds I’d probably end up with more than one DSLR. As Niklas says, I’m like a magpie: always attracted to the shiny.
The doll hobby is a way of escape for me. I don’t want to think about what I have lost and even now as I’m typing about it I’m trying not to think too hard. I get so sad and bitter when I think about her death; when I see others with their grandmothers I get angry and jealous because it isn’t fair. I know, I know, life’s not fair, but since when are emotions logical? At some point my avoidance might cause me to crack like an egg.
I’m on the verge of tears (and god knows I hate crying) so I’ll probably just end this entry here and go do what I do best and lurk on DoA. 🙂
Hug your grandmas.