Why am I awake?

I didn’t have English today, and yet I was out of bed by 8 anyway. I have no clue why, especially since my next class isn’t until 11. 😕 Today is the last Tuesday of the school year (not counting next Tuesday’s final) and I am so glad. I’ll be even happier after tomorrow, since that is when I have to do my French roleplay. I have the greatest lines, by the way, such as “J’aime Scott quand il est soûl” and “J’aime cette chanson!”. The thing about school that is pissing me off is textbook buybacks. $300 worth of books, and I’ll get $26 in return. Non-profit my ass.

The weekend of May 14th I’m going to California with my dad. It is not a trip of pleasure. His godmother, Pat Hayes, is dying. She’s been sick for as long as I can remember, but doctors have now given her a year to live. 🙁 On one hand I’m looking forward to seeing family, but on the other hand, I’m not a fan of being around death. It’s hard to explain. I’m not really scared of death, since I feel it’s a natural way of life. We all need to die at some point so more humans can be born. But I am scared of dying. I don’t like the idea of dying slowly or in pain. I’d rather it happen quickly. So I suppose I am scared of death, just not the final act. I’m not afraid of the afterlife, and if there isn’t one, then I’ll never have to be afraid. ❗

4 thoughts on “Why am I awake?”

  1. *squee* Enjoy your final week of school! It must be a wonderful feeling XD (er… could you translate the French? Lol. *linguistically challenged*)

    I hope your trip goes all right, and make the most of the time she has left. 🙂 I’ve never had close contact with death, so it seems like an uneasy, mysterious concept (my grandfather died a couple of years ago, but he lived in another country and we’d never had much contact at all, with the language barrier =/). It’s inevitable of course, and I’m also more worried about the method of death than what happens after, if anything. ^^;;

  2. I guess I’m afraid of dying. I’m not afraid of what happens after death. If there’s nothing, you wont know the difference, and if there’s something…yay. ➡

  3. French translation: J’aime Scott quand il est soûl: I love Scott when he is drunk. J’aime cette chanson!: I love this song!

    Today’s the French final, and it’s at eight PM. Makes no sense. 😈

    I don’t want to die a virgin. That sounds so shallow, but it’s true. Hell, I don’t want to die before 80. ❗

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